Today I finally got the courage and told him.
“…I’ve cheated on you”
For the few seconds it took him to say something, I went to hell and back several times. I was trying to come up with a backup strategy; I’ll tell him I was joking and was trying to elicit a response from him. Why did I not think this through? I don’t want this relationship to end. I care for him too much to let him go.
He said “What did you do?”
I had no intentions of telling him the truth. I do not think he would like hearing me talk about how I went to the other guy’s place before I came to his place. He wouldn’t want to hear that the night I was moody and won’t let him touch me, when he though he did something wrong and kept trying to make it up to me was the night I cheated on him.
“It was a few weeks ago, sketchy on the date but we were not in a good place then… it meant nothing”
That wasn’t entirely a lie; more like a white lie since I only omitted a few things. We really weren’t in a good place as we were in a cycle of arguing and making up. I really don’t remember the date but I remember everything that happened that day and it was about 3-4 weeks ago…
He just said something. “That’s okay. I forgive you just don’t do it again”.
I got up from where I was seated, gave him a kiss and cuddled up to him.
“I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry”
We went back to watching the movie but I am no longer interested in watching it but I smile and laugh when appropriate.
Where do we go from here?